Superpowers

My sister used to joke telling that I'm learning the "Japanese hidden techniques" and I'll use them to "take over the world" (Pinky and Brain?). So, just for fun, a list of some "Japanese superpowers" and some of I've "got" here.

Note: the comments are only for fun purposes. They don't intent to hurt anybody. If you feel bad about this post send me a comment and I'll delete it.

• Teleport: you're suddenly in a place like a waiting area or a train station with nobody around. Suddenly the place becomes crowded with people you don't know where they came from... I still haven't mastered this hability, although some friends say sometimes I got out of nowhere.



• Compression: that the Japanese are very good in making things smaller is well known (electronics and ikebana, for example), but not many know their ability to compress themselves or their possesions. For the latter, go to a Japanese house or office and you might find things stored in impressive ways or interesting ways to use space (like a washbasin that can be moved to make toilet vase or shower available in an arnund two square meters space). For the former, enter a train in a very used line (my recommendations are the Yamanote or the Keio Inokashira lines in Tokyo) during rush hour... I'm not good in this one.



• Sonar driving: that is visible when a Japanese is driving a car. Some streets are very narrow, that and some small parking places makes me think if a human being could possibly enter/park there... but they can. And most times without failing. As I don't have a car, there's no chance for me to learn this one, although it's very useful.



• Multiple tasks: one of the surprising things noticed after staying some time here is how people can use their mobile phones or hold their umbrellas while cycling... even elderly people do that (more with umbrellas than phones). With time, I learned to do that within certain limits... I still can't do BOTH while cycling (don't laugh... I've seen it).



• Selective ignorance: In certain situations Japanese act in an incredible cool way, not even paying much attention in things that would stir most westerns. Although there's some kind of good side in this (I don't see so much gossip around, and I've left my house in ways that I wouldn't do in Brazil... and you really have to do something really out of usual, or look like a foreigner, to draw some attention involuntarily) there're strange situations that happen as "consequences". Steff and Shu's blogs have topics with examples. No, I can't act like that.



• Instant sleep: In short, it's possible to see people sleeping in many places. In buses or trains, inside Starbucks, in classes (whoops...)... In part that's due to the combination of their lifestyles (busy with work/studies/other activities so they don't get much regular sleep) and the relative secure society, even so it's surprising sometimes. That's an hability I can say I've mastered. I slept most of the long trips, waking up at good timing to not lose the transfers... slept in the train to Kobe (30 min)... even in the bus to Shosha (20 min)... standing in the train (just once though)...

Changing a little, in the Outpost Nine page there's a list of "gaijin powers" in Japan. Although that post is funnier, most of those powers don't apply if you look like Japanese. So, a few extra "super powers" are below.

• Camouflage: that's usually the ability obtained instead of the "gaijin powers" if you don't look like gaijin (foreigner). You can mix yourself with the crowd and most times (especially if you don't do anything that gives you away) nobody realizes there's a foreigner around. There're good and bad points in this.



• Language shift: that's something you get after living in an international environment so that you're forced to use different languages. I've been in some where I've caught myself shifting between Portuguese, English, Japanese and "Portunhol" (a.k.a. some weird Portuguese and Spanish mix where one only changes some words in Portuguese by similar words in Spanish... and turns out to be none of them... Used by Brazilians who can't speak proper Spanish) at the same conversation with different people. Of course that I make lots of mistakes (like talking in Portuguese with members of the Himeji Gang or saying a word in Japanese in the middle of an English sentence to an English teacher), but that's part of the fun. And the more I'm forced to shift, the less the errors occur later.



• Secret code: that's for having Portuguese as first language. As it's a language that few know, it's some kind of cypher that we use sometimes when we don't want our notes to be understood, our conversation to be overheard, etc. Funny sometimes, but still not that useful. And, on the other hand, as my Japanese is far from good, the reverse can be used against me...

Now... how could this be used to take over the world???